A Striking Contrast

Every once in a while, a home schooled young person finds their way into the national media spotlight. Generally, it is being recognized for winning the National Spelling Bee, or a prominent Science Fair. These I only notice with passing interest. But when two previously home schooled young men appeared in national news stories within a few hours of each other, it really got my attention. But it was the further digging into each story that has really made me think a little longer and harder about parenting.

By the time 2007 Heisman Trophy winning quarterback Tim Tebow had finished his acceptance speech in New York, 24 year old Matthew Murray was a few hours away from a murderous rampage in Colorado that would leave 5 dead, including himself. What did they share in common, aside from the date of their headlines? They were both from Christian families, and they were both home schooled, K-12.

Such a dramatic contrast begs for closer examination. Tim Tebow grew up as the youngest of 5 to missionary/evangelist Bob Tebow. He credits his dad for teaching him godliness and his mom for teaching him to memorize Scripture. He says that his four brothers and sisters made a path by which he was able to "just follow in their footsteps." Tim had an incredible year on the football field, becoming the first sophomore to ever win the Heisman Trophy, but his ongoing Christian witness at postgame interviews are becoming a trademark. During the recent Capital One Bowl Game, we heard a secular sports announcer's voice soften as she told about Tim's deep character that was motivating him to spend his upcoming spring break in the Phillippines helping out at the orphanage that his parents run, while most of his peers will be partying on the beaches.

We know much less about the home life of Matthew Murray, but he also was raised memorizing Scripture and was home schooled using one of the most conservative Christian curriculums (ATI). His father was a respected neurologist, so he obviously was raised with a significant financial advantage and his family was described as extremely religious. However, Matthew's online postings on a number of websites reveal that he rejected Christianity in his early adult years and became enamored with the occult.

The unsettling fact is that the children of Christian parents are going astray in droves. In the past 30 years, Christians have tried to address this problem by developing glitzy youth programs, establishing countless Christian schools, and more recently choosing to homeschool their children. In spite of all these efforts, youth experts like Josh McDowell in his book "The Lost Generation" tells us, "The Nehemiah Institute has offered a valuable service in providing testing to over 20,000 students from one thousand schools. Christian parents have even tested their young people who attend public school. You would probably not be surprised to learn that eighty-five percent (85%) of youth from Christian homes that attend public schools do not embrace a biblical worldview. But what of students in Christian schools? While these students scored slightly higher than their counterparts attending public schools, only six percent (6%) of students embraced a Biblical Theism Worldview. It is clear we have all but lost our young people to a godless culture." Sadly we personally know of numerous homeschooled young adults that have also rejected Biblical Christianity. But what about Proverb 22:6 which promises," Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it"? If we are honest there are only two options. Either this promise is not a true statement or something has gone desperately wrong with the training of Christian children today. It is tempting to try to explain away what this verse means, but in Romans 3:4 and other verses God challenges us to believe His word and mistrust our own ideas,"Let God be true, but every man a liar." So if we are forced to accept that Christians today are significantly failing to bring up their children in the way that they should go, we must ask, "What is the way our children should go?" Unfortunately, the context in Proverbs 22 does not provide a clear cut explanation of what it means by "the way he should go". Instead we must look at the rest of the Bible to clarify this for us.

In Mark 12:29, Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment. Instead of listing one of the ten, he summarized them all in a powerful way. "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength; this is the first commandment." Can we really grasp what Jesus is saying? At the heart of the Christian faith IS our heart. The core factor in the way we should go is not a formula but a question . . . "Do you love me more than these?" More than these children? More than these pleasures? More than these goals or dreams? More than your favorite "comfort" diversion? Do you love me more than these? The life of a true Christian should be one of a passionate pursuit of this one goal. . . loving God more than anything or anyone else including ourselves. All of life should be seen as an opportunity for God to bring about this pure love for Him. Those trials that plow us under, the blessings that we selfishly cling to, the fears we can't push through, and the the sins that we keep succumbing to, all reveal other loves. If we choose to lay these down as they are revealed to us, our love for God will grow. However, so often we aren't willing to do this. Instead, we focus on lesser goals. Training up children to be responsible adults, even ones who go to church and don't do drugs or who get a decent job and provide for a family, or have interesting skills and hobbies all seem like goals that are worthwhile, but these truly are lesser goals than what Scripture calls us to. The reason why it is so tempting to focus on these kinds of goals is because it requires less from us. . . far less than what God is calling us to. God is calling us to love Him with all our hearts and then to give ourselves to reaching the lost and equipping believers. While winning the lost and equipping Christians must begin at home, it should not end there. Tim Tebow's parents understand that well. They were willing to raise their children along side hundreds of orphans. We may have a romantic picture of this . . . but consider for a moment the kinds of language, stories, diseases and behavior some of street-wise orphans might have. Tim's parents took a big risk --- that these harmful influences might overcome their five children --- but when God led them to do it, they obeyed. Tim says that his parents took his education and spiritual training very seriously, while still living a life poured out for others.

It is easy to slide into an assumption that something as external as home schooling is a silver bullet that will somehow keep our kids from going bad. Or that if we just provide them with enough positive activities or raise them in a strict conservative manner withdrawn from the world, we can escape the heartache of a child who wanders from their faith. Many tragic stories like the one that played out in Colorado a few weeks ago ought to remind us that training of children has no silver bullets. Training children is a costly, costly affair that has everything to do with heart issues in both parent and child.

And yet, if we are willing to step up and ask God to change our hearts so that we will love Him as we should and are willing to aim our children toward nothing less than what God calls all of his disciples to, then we can and should expect to raise earnest and bold Christians who walk on in the way they should go. They will not depart from that training but instead will bring glory to God by loving Him and pouring out their lives on behalf of His kingdom, even if they don't ever win the Heisman.

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him. 2 Chronicles 16:9